What does pornography do to women? *
Since it trains men to think of women as objects to be used instead of persons to be loved, guys speak of them as objects and treat them as objects. One longtime producer in the porn industry admitted “My whole reason for being in this industry is to satisfy the desire of the men in the world who basically don’t care much for women and want to see the men in my industry getting even with the women they couldn’t have when they were growing up. I strongly believe this, and the Industry hates me for saying it.” He added that the porn industry is simply “a playpen for the damned.” (1)
When men learn their concept of intimacy from videos and magazines, they may accept the idea that a woman’s no is actually a yes and that she enjoys being used. This can lead to a rapist mentality. Consider, for example, a study done in the Oklahoma City area. When 150 sexually oriented businesses were closed, the rate of rape decreased 27 percent in five years, while the rate in the rest of the country increased 19 percent. In Phoenix, Arizona, neighborhoods with porn outlets had 500 percent more sex offenses than neighborhoods without them. (2)
Ted Bundy raped and killed dozens of women. Sentenced to die in the electric chair, he requested that his last interview be with Dr. James Dobson (3), the founder of Focus on the Family. In that meeting Bundy talked openly about pornography and told Dr. Dobson that his struggles all began there. He explained that all his fellow inmates had an obsession with pornography before going to prison. Porn magazines and videos lay at the root of innumerable rapes and murders. Countless victims of child molestation also report that their abusers exposed them to pornography as an attempt to desensitize and seduce them. No one can tell the husbands, siblings, children, and parents of those violated and deceased women that pornography is harmless. Besides, wouldn’t it infuriate you if a guy simply looked at a woman you loved in the same way he looked at pornography?
It should be noted that pornography addiction is not just a “guy” problem. Many women struggle with it as well, and they experience the same consequences. They often feel an additional sense of isolation and shame because they assume that women shouldn’t struggle with lust. Because of this myth, they often keep their habit secret instead of seeking help to overcome it.
While men often view pornography to see what they would like to receive, women sometimes view it wondering what they need to look like, how they need to act, and who they need to be. But such women need to realize that women were not created to be porn—they were created to be loved. If you’re a woman who struggles in this area, you’re not alone. Many women have written blogs for us on their struggle with porn addiction, and what they did to break free.
What do you think? We are here for you, via the chat to listen and answer your questions:
- What’s wrong with looking at pornography?
- What does pornography do to marriages?
- What are the consequences of porn on your health ?
(*) Source : A text by Jason Evert from his book If You Really Loved Me (Chastity Project, 2007), freely adapted for SOSporno.net/SOSporn.org. Author of many other books on male-female love, he and his wife Crystalina run the website chastityproject.com and live with their children in Colorado.
(1) Robert Stoller, Porn: Myths For The Twentieth Century (New Haven, Conn.: Yale University Press, 1993), 33.
(2) Source : U.S. Department of Justice, Child Pornography, Obscenity, and Organized Crime (Washington, D.C., February 1988).
(3) Ted Bundy’s Final Interview (pureintimacy.org).