Trapped in a pornography addiction, Mary-Magdalene was suffering, until the day she opened her Bible and cried out to God to deliver her from it. Testimony.
For my whole childhood I followed my parents to Mass, and their activities with the Church. It was at high school, with friends I’d known since primary school, that I fell into pornography. Firstly with comic books, manga comics with a touch of eroticism, and then pornography.
These were friends who had a toxic influence on me, I quickly fell into alcohol with very drunken parties… I realised that there was something wrong with my relationship with my friends: they didn’t accept my convictions, my faith, the whole relationship I could have with God.
Having stopped my studies, it was very difficult for me, I cried a lot, and one day my mother pulled me out of bed, put me in front of my prayer corner and told me: “You have to ask the Lord for things so that he can help you and guide you”. So I opened the Bible and came across the parable of the true vine (1), in which the Lord says that all the branches that bear fruit, God will prune them, and those that do not, he will pull out and burn. I then realised that the branches that were not bearing fruit were my relationships with my friends. So I decided overnight to cut my ties with them. I was very sad by this, as I began to study oenology, influenced by the parable of the true vine.
But I continued, I had not stopped this bad habit of pornography although I had cut the relationship with them. One day I realised that something was not right, and in my daily prayer I received the parable of the adulterous woman. I felt a call to confession. So I went to confession. I finally put into words what I was experiencing, I felt a deliverance. But the deliverance was not total, there was still something in my heart.
From relapse to relapse, deliverance was at the end of the road
There were several relapses. Until last year, another relapse, at Christmas, I take the road to return from my parents. On the motorway, I am thrown several times against the guardrail, where I realise the state of the car, which is now a wreck, I look at everything that is scattered on the road, I look at this guardrail, the car, the road, and there I say to myself “I am going to throw myself under a car”. But then a hand is on my shoulder, from someone who had stopped to help me, and I really feel the presence of Christ who saves my life for a second time and prevents me from doing it.
“Lord, come and cure me of porn!”
Facing death opened my eyes, and I said to myself “this is not possible anymore, I have to move on”. One day in my prayer, I asked Christ: “Lord, really, come and cure me of porn! I had never dared to do so. And the next day, during a prayer with my roommates, we picked out a little word from God and I came across “I do, be healed! I had never dared to ask to be delivered from my addiction to pornography, but since that day I am completely healed. I am not saying that the struggle is not there, it is there, it is like an addiction, but I am fighting and since that day, no relapse. I really realised that I had to dare to ask Christ, and when we ask him, he gives it to us!
And what do you think? Do you also want to ask Jesus to heal you of your addiction to pornography? Come and talk to us about it in the chat room!
- Porn: What’s the problem?
- Liberated from pornography by Carlo Acutis
- Joseph, ex-porn addict: “One day, I thought to myself: you’re not happy!”
(1) Jn 15, 4:6